Don't Look
by JeiC
Summary: Please remember me as I was, not as I am.


Disclaimer: Dun own Kingdom Hearts. I just write stories for fun.  
Warnings: angst

**Don't Look**

by JeiC

* * *

"If I had a heart, this would be where I die of laughter."

Upon hearing those words, I strike through the lesser Nobodies that accompanied Saix quickly before he can command them to attack the girls. Normally, I would have stayed hidden within the shadows, assisting my friends from a safe distance, but this was cutting it too close. I almost slipped to Sora once before, but escaped with a fight, only leaving behind a few well placed clues to let him know I was okay.

As expected, the Lunar Diviner turned to see what the commotion behind him was about…his attitude far to calm for my liking, but his surprise was a promising advantage for me. "You? Didn't Roxas take care of you?"

Even with my hood up, Namine knew, and I wish she had left off the end of her statement, "You can take it from here, Riku."

The blonde girl knew that would get a reaction out of Kairi, who let her guard down in surprise…looking at her Nobody, "Riku?!" Her shocked expression went from her other back to me.

Shutting my eyes tightly, I curse the fact that Namine said my name. Releasing my keyblade quickly, I resort to fighting Saix without it, unleashing a large jolt of dark power at him before charging. Slamming him back into the wall, I let my frustration at being identified pour into my grip, hesitating when the blue-haired Nobody smirks and opens a portal against the wall I'm pressing him to. Why?! Why couldn't Namine have called me Ansem?! I'm no better than he was.

I had to wait for the portal to fully develop before I could give chase to the Berserker. Only managing a half a step before, "Wait!" Cringing, I can't ignore the redhead's call. A knight wouldn't ignore the princess' call, even if he were a dark knight.

Pluto came running towards me, barking as usual in a happy tone. Very rarely have I seen him get upset. I back away from him, wanting to tell the dog to go away, kicking myself now for having trained him to help me. Walking closer, I back away again and he smartly puts himself between the portal and me so I can't escape.

Smart for him, not for me. All I want to do is run away and hide so that Kairi won't find out. In a panic, I look up at the girl, who decides that is her cue to approach me. Please, for your sake and mine, don't. Remember me for who I was, not who I am. Hate me for what I've done.

"Riku…you're really here?" I can't stop my long time friend from reaching up to push back my hood. I can't meet her eyes either, knowing that the shame and embarrassment is blatant on my face for what I have resorted to. I never wanted her to know…for either of them to know.

Keeping my eyes cast away at the ground, I don't want to know what her expression is. Kairi is so pure hearted that it would break mine to see the look of disgust or hatred on those delicate features.

Feeling hands on my face to force me to look at her, I blink in confusion at her closed eyes and soft smile, "It really is you, Riku!" A moment later I have my arms fully as she latches onto me for dear life, "I've missed you so much, Riku! You and Sora have been gone for so long...I never thought I'd get to see either of you again." Please, stop saying that name…it isn't me anymore. I'm not the person you remember.

"Kairi…" I'm almost surprised to hear my own voice as I hold onto her. To be forgiven so easily by one of my best friends almost makes the embarrassment and shame disappear, but there is still one more person and I doubt his judgment will be so generous. If I encounter him while I escort the girl, I'll make sure to get out of there quickly. There's no reason to make the same mistake twice.

Releasing her version of a death grip, Kairi tugs at one of my glove-encased hands, "Come on! We need to go find Sora! You know how lazy he gets when we're not around. Besides, I bet he'll be excited to see us again."

I can't burst her hopeful bubble. Not right now. I'll fade back into darkness again at the appropriate time, but for now, she'll need my guidance to get her to our third friend.

* * *

Fin  
August 2007  
by JeiC  
---  
Author's notes: Yeppers, another KH2 scene from Riku's POV for another prompt. You guys have got to be getting sick of me writing this stuff.

**For:** kingdom100  
**Claim: **Riku  
**Prompt:** Embarrassment (#47)


End file.
